Exhaustion ripples through me like the thunder that echoes beyond the walls.

Hiring a housekeeper should not be so tiring, but I know it’s the emotional strain more than anything. I knew my family would resist the change. It’s a lot to ask them; to move outside their complacency and inertia. Yet, it has not changed my mind or resolve. This change will happen.

Our lives will be lead much differently from now on. The more they resist, the more they fight me, the stronger my will becomes. I’m not going to be lulled back into sleep, my eyes are open and I’m awake.

I don’t want to sleepwalk anymore. I want to feel life, experience life deep within my core. No more excuses, no more hiding behind the walls we’ve made.

I know this is a process. I know it will take time and that it will summon every ounce if strength within me, but I want it. I want it more than I can express. It is that hunger that insatiable need that keeps me going. My will is being tested. My will is strong. I can do this.

They will resist but I’m ready for it, more so now than I’ve ever been. So tonight I celebrate a small victory — the housekeeper.

Tomorrow begins a new battle. The purge.

Sweating the small stuff….

It seems to me that blogging is nothing more than a public journal. Filled with one’s own opinions and view points.

So after reading a lengthy diatribe on whether or not we should concern ourselves with a story of a manager getting fired for purchasing food for emergency response people, I thought this would be a better place to voice my opinion.

Yes, there are many gigantic problems in this world. We as humans are extremely flawed and fall prey to host of character weaknesses: greed, lust, jealousy, power lust, hatred.

Our planet’s environment needs cleaning, our politics need revising and the way we deal with each other on a global level is appalling in many respects. Yet, to ask one person to solve world peace or end poverty is like asking an ant to move the Empire State Building.

Behavioral changes take time. Global societal changes take even more time, but it starts with awareness. Getting people to say hey it’s wrong to fire someone over an act of kindness, is small. It will not change the world tomorrow, but it may lead to a subtle change in the way we treat each other. This may lead to others “paying it forward”. Or, maybe just viewing kindness to others as normal.

This may in turn lead to a growing climate of good will and community, which may lead to something more– like world peace.

Far fetched you may ask? Maybe but a tidal wave of change starts with the first pebble to ripple a complacent lake.

So, maybe the story of the restaurant manager was fiction. Maybe it wasn’t. It doesn’t really matter, for if just one person begins to be aware that we need to treat each other better, then the first pebble has been cast. May it cause a tidal wave of kindness large enough to combat our greed and hate.