Tell me is it worth it?

Below you will find a little story.  If you find its worth a chuckle, click the link at the bottom.  If you don’t, please leave me a comment. 
Chiquita Banana

When we were young, long before cell phones and selfies, was our senior prom. It was the ’80’s; home of big hair an cotillion style gowns.

My friend Tony, always the last to make up his mind, waited too late to ask me and I already had a date. With only 2 weeks left for his prom he put the remaining girls’ names in a hat and pulled out a name.

First mistake: it was a girl he barely knew, but he called her up and she was eager to go.  She even had a dress in baby blue.  She told him the silver would compliment her dark chocolate skin.

Thinking he was all set, he got his tux with a baby blue tie and cumberbund.

Second mistake: Two days before the prom, she calls him, crying.

“The dress doesn’t fit!”

“Doesn’t fit?!? Didn’t you try it on before you bought it?”

“Well I bought it a while ago, and when I put it on today the whole side ripped.  I guess I’ve gained a little weight.”

“I guess so!  So what are you going to do ”

“Don’t worry, my cousin has a dress I can borrow she’s coming over.  I will call you and tell you the color.”

“Ok, just make sure it fits.”
Mistake three:  She calls him later that day.

“It fits! But, it’s yellow. Can you get a yellow tie and cumberbund? Or black?”

“Man I don’t know it was pretty much sold out but he’s a friend so let’s see.

Tony goes to the tux shop, there’s no black and only a mustard green-yellow.

“It’s going to have to do, I can’t wear blue.”

“I will knock off 5% of the rental price.”

“Thanks man I owe you.”

Mistake 4:  He calls her up and tells her that the limo will be outside at six. She says she’ll be ready. 

They arrive and her parents say she’s running just a little late.  15 min go by, 20, an hour and a half. Tony clearly agitated says he will be waiting in the limo.  Just as he is about to say “let’s go, I’ll stag it,” she emerges. His best friend starts laughing and Tony is stunned.

“Driver take me to the liquor store two blocks away.”

Arriving at the store, He tells the clerk, “take pity on a brother.  My tie looks like puke and my date looks like big bird! I just need a pint of Hennessy!”

The clerk was laughing so hard he was crying and sold him the liquor.

It was 1/2 gone by the time the got to the yaht club two and a half hours late. 

We were eating dessert when Tony, Marco, Yvette came in trailing this girl.

My mouth dropped open as this giant bruised banana walked in with silver white hose and silver shoes. ‘Please let that be Marco’s date and let Tony be with Yvette.’

A quick swig from the bottle he had hidden in his jacket and a glimpse of his tie let me know that my hope was wrong. Chiquita banana bird was Tony’s date.

He looked at me like ‘help me god’ and went to find his table in the back.  Since they missed dinner we started a assembly line of desserts from the front to the back, which Tony gobbled down because he was starving.  The date soon graves the camera and disappeared into the crowd of dancing ballgowns. Off came the tie and cumberbund and Tony was free to dance with his friends without big bird following.  I gave him a hug.

“You poor thing who is that?”

“A bad nightmare”
Mistake 5:  At The Hotel 

As with all 80’s proms the party continued after the prom at various hotels. Tony was hanging with a group of friends called “The Lowy Boys” for their love of Lowenbrau beer? Big bird got sick and went to the room the 4 of them were sharing.  When Yvette went to the room to sleep, the date was getting busy with someone else. Yvette left.  Tony never made it back to the room and Marco took his date home.

Year’s later we all meet up again, Yvette tells me how the night ended and I laughed “oh no! Where was Tony?”

“Probably passed out in the tub.”

By chance Tony was telling the prom story when he saw me walking towards him.
“There you are! You owe me a prom date. I wrapped my arms around him and said well if you had asked sooner I would have and I guarantee you one thing if you had taken me.”

“What’s that?”

“Your prom date wouldn’t have slept with the school Gigalo. 

Tony’s mouth dropped open.  “H-how’d, h-how’d ya know…Yvette”

We all laughed.
So? Worth a chuckle?

No?  Please leave me a message.

Yes? Click the link and donate to my friend Tony’s funeral fund.  He was a dear friend who was taken too soon by cancer.

Calling All 49er fans TOUCH DOWN!

Despite being a New Englander Tony McNeil has been a loyal 9er’s fan since the days of Montana and Rice. About the only thing he liked as much was his Hennessy.

His dream was to see the 9’er’s live.  We planned to go this year, to celebrate his overcoming colon cancer. 

Unfortunately, we will never enjoy that game together.  After a year of chemo and radiation, the cancer had spread to his groin, brain and heart.  Still he fought on, then the strokes. Nearly blind he joked that he would make it to pre-season.

He fought on, but this week it proved too much for him, with friends and family by his side, he let a single tear fall, before letting go, letting the cancer take him far from us.

This disease not only ravaged his body, it ravaged him financially.  He had no insurance and no one who can afford to pay the entire cost of the funeral.

$2500 is all that is needed to send him to eternal rest instyle like a true 9ers fan should be, we are not a rich group, but several of us have donated to a fund to see this man buried with dignity; to insure that cancer doesn’t take that from him.

Won’t you help a fellow 9ers fan? And contribute any amount to his go fund? You don’t need to know him, show him that 9er’s fans look after each other.

Let’s show him that cancer sucks!, but it can’t rob us from our dignity.

To make a donation, Just click the link below:

False Advertising: how to piss off a book lover

I am coming up on my 4 year anniversary of the end of my breast cancer treatment and while my body is not the same as it was prior to treatment, I am not devastatingly deformed and disabled.

I do suffer from fatigue, night sweats and insomnia which can truly be annoying. My hair is back but not at the level of thickness it once was. My eyelashes and brows have not come back well, and I keep gaining weight.

I am sure the weight us complicated by my medications all which state they cause weight gain. So I’ve decided to change my diet to help naturally ease the hot flashes and improve my energy.

Where to start? A cookbook for post breast cancer, right? With over 30 years under their belts, they are bound to have one!

So I head to my iTunes (what good is a cookbook if it’s not accessible) and I pull up a selection. A pick some samples to review and immediately get disappointed. None of these so called cookbooks give recipes in their samples.

Now I don’t know about you but I select cookbook for the number of recipes I would actually eat and enjoy making. So, when I get to my third sample with no table of contents and no recipes, I’m annoyed. It seems that these books are set up with a lecture about breast cancer, your risks of getting it and how it’s diagnosed and treated as their very long intro. Ah excuse me, I’ve been there, done that and bought the t-shirt. So how about a freakin recipe in your supposed “post treatment cookbooks”.

Finally I get to the last selection and it is by far the worst. If there is a recipe at all it’s buried somewhere within the hidden pages. But, what makes this the worst is that it’s sample is nothing more than a condemnation of the current medical treatment for breast cancer. If I were just starting this journey it would scare the shit out of me and I would wonder why live at all. I’m just going to die from a horrible complication from treatment!

None of these samples led me to purchase a book. In fact just the opposite. I decided that it is more advantageous for me to go to an actual bookstore with real books that I can look at.

Folks keep telling me print books are dead, well in the case of recipes…the hard copy cookbook is alive and well for me!