November 2015 I almost didn’t write a letter this year. Like the city under this winter’s snow, I withdrew from the outside world by the end of March. The plight of our family problem had reached an apex and my … Continue reading
I am thankful for the letter “F”
I’m sitting watching skaters dance on Frog Pond this crisp fall day, remembering the days when my own childish laughter echoed through the bright days.
Closing my eyes I’m transported back to the past when the smells of leaves, apples and spices filled the air and the promise of snow was something exciting. I would sit under the dining room table next to the burning fire from the stove watching TV specials while mom turned out a banquet of treats both savory and sweet, in the three days leading up to thanksgiving.
The day itself could be summed up by the letter F:
Fun, Food, Friends, Family and Football.
Those memories have given me strength over this last year, which has been one of the most difficult in my adult life. It has made me look at this upcoming holiday season with a bittersweet anticipation. There is so much more difficulty ahead of my family, yet there is hope. Hope that sits in my soul that we can get back some of that laughter and excitement.
Reflecting on all that has transpired this year, I find that thanksgiving for me still equates to “F”. For every trial or opportunity that I have encountered it has been friends and family that have shown me support and the courage to go forward.
Every time I have wanted to retreat into my shell and stay there, a silver lining would surface allowing me to fight for the future.
For those of you who either participated or bore witness to this time, I have so much to thank you for:
Mary, you are so young and have a lot more learning to do, but on Barbie’s birthday you showed a clear headed calmness that was much needed.
To my family, thank you for rallying to my support when needed.
Billy I truly believe that the amputations will be a blessing in disguise for you, giving you more mobility, better health and a reason to fight for the future.
Mom and Dee spending time away from you has provided me with a clarity I wouldn’t have had, it has committed me to change with no going back.
To my friends, despite not being around much the few times I’ve reached out you have been there for me when I needed it. I’m not good at asking for help or sharing, but I’m learning and I am so very grateful to you.
To my new friends, welcome into my chaos. You are a true light shining in my weary world.
To the children in my life you keep me young and remind me of laughter on frosty fall days.
May all of you know the love and support I have had in this past year without the turmoil that precipitated it.
And may 2015 represent a new F… Living Fierce.
Had a dream with you in it.
We were in a room…a living room but not one I know. I was curled up on the couch: knees to chin, arms wrapped over them, holding a cup of tea.
It’s late at night. We were in a deep conversation, you across from me in a chair.
“What would you think our lives would be like if we had met in a different time and place?”
I smile thoughtfully. “What a delicious idea.”
“The fact that I wonder about such things?”
“No. The fact that you wonder, but I know.”
It’s Valentine’s Day season. You know the made up holiday to give us diabetes and make every single girl feel inferior if they aren’t being wooed and pursued every February 14th.
In recent generations, men have felt the pressure to be romantic on this day and then stow romance away for another year. Really? One day because the candy companies say you have to? Boys, that so wrong!
I have never been one for forced sentiment days. If a man wants to be with me, I expect that he will show me this on a regular basis, not just one day a year.
I do like lavishing attention on friends, family and lovers, but the time and place is at my discretion. Likewise, if my boyfriend pays attention to me the other 364 days of the year, Valentine’s day means nothing, but an excuse for sex. And, I’ve never needed an excuse, so this day has never been a pull-out-all-the-stops type of day for me. I have romance when I want it, sex when I want it, and alone time when I don’t. I pamper my lover on Valentine’s if I have one and myself if I don’t…actually I pamper myself whether or not I am in a relationship, he just gets to enjoy the attention too.
I remember friends and family on this day as well, because love comes in many different forms and everyone likes to know that they are loved.
Also, if a man hasn’t paid the right kind of attention to me, he probably won’t last to Valentine’s day and that’s fine with me. I never want to be tied to an emotional albatross. I’m much too good for that–no conceit here, I just won’t settle.
Some say this is why I never married, my standards are too high. But, really is that true? I don’t date and toss men away for superficial reasons. When a relationship ends I know I have given it my all and have closure. What more can you ask of me?
So what do I expect on this ooey-gooey holiday? Love. Warmth. Fun.
Wether your a romantic partner or friend/family, remember me on this day with hugs and kisses. Laugh with me, cry with me, act silly with me.
Make me smile. Make me glad you are in my life. And I will do the same for you in return.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
My friend was celebrating his birthday. He is famous for wild dance parties that last until the wee hours of the morning. I’ve stayed to the end of many of those parties, but sadly not recently.
Dee had just come home from the hospital, so I had cancelled the majority my weekend plans, but I promised him that I would come by for at least one drink.
It’s been a year since I had been out dancing and I hadn’t realized how much I missed it.
I loved the energy, seeing old friends and (while I left really early) feeling revitalized when I went home
So to my friend, Luis. Happy Birthday!
Next year I promised I will be able to stay longer! Oh and you still need to cook me dinner (lol before I am 90)
In the course of my work and educational life, I have learned to shake up my perspective of myself, to constantly strive to refresh both my listening and communication skills and to be aware of my faults/weaknesses as well as my talents/strengths. The former keeps me humble and striving to improve. The latter, gives me focus.
I am taking course on personal branding. It’s much like what we do for companies, but in the new faster-paced, internet-driven world we need to do this for ourselves as well as our companies.
It’s first bit of homework is to wake us up on how we see ourselves and how others around us see us. First we answer 4 questions on what we believe are our talents, values, strengths and weaknesses. Then we have to make that awkward ask of friends and associates to tell us the truth about us as they see it in relation to the same questions.
They are to assess our work and relationships (not just romantic but all relationships)
I asked about 15 and have just started getting them back. It’s interesting to see not only how they see me, but also how the assess the questions.
While admittedly they are only just starting to come back, I find that some take the relationship question as literal romantic relationships and not all relationships in general.
That made me smile. Not, because they got it right or wrong but because the questions are so open to interpretation.
I admit I’m both interested and a bit apprehensive at those that are still to come in. It’s hard to face your weaknesses, but a little exciting too.
I am starting to see “brand Sandy” form. This brand will follow me through blogs and articles, into my writing and photography promos and be a consistent presence in my bio’s and profiles.
On Wednesday my first draft is due. It will be amazing to see it unfold?