I am thankful for the letter “F”

I’m sitting watching skaters dance on Frog Pond this crisp fall day, remembering the days when my own childish laughter echoed through the bright days.

Closing my eyes I’m transported back to the past when the smells of leaves, apples and spices filled the air and the promise of snow was something exciting. I would sit under the dining room table next to the burning fire from the stove watching TV specials while mom turned out a banquet of treats both savory and sweet, in the three days leading up to thanksgiving.

The day itself could be summed up by the letter F:
Fun, Food, Friends, Family and Football.

Those memories have given me strength over this last year, which has been one of the most difficult in my adult life. It has made me look at this upcoming holiday season with a bittersweet anticipation. There is so much more difficulty ahead of my family, yet there is hope. Hope that sits in my soul that we can get back some of that laughter and excitement.

Reflecting on all that has transpired this year, I find that thanksgiving for me still equates to “F”. For every trial or opportunity that I have encountered it has been friends and family that have shown me support and the courage to go forward.

Every time I have wanted to retreat into my shell and stay there, a silver lining would surface allowing me to fight for the future.

For those of you who either participated or bore witness to this time, I have so much to thank you for:

Mary, you are so young and have a lot more learning to do, but on Barbie’s birthday you showed a clear headed calmness that was much needed.

To my family, thank you for rallying to my support when needed.

Billy I truly believe that the amputations will be a blessing in disguise for you, giving you more mobility, better health and a reason to fight for the future.

Mom and Dee spending time away from you has provided me with a clarity I wouldn’t have had, it has committed me to change with no going back.

To my friends, despite not being around much the few times I’ve reached out you have been there for me when I needed it. I’m not good at asking for help or sharing, but I’m learning and I am so very grateful to you.

To my new friends, welcome into my chaos. You are a true light shining in my weary world.

To the children in my life you keep me young and remind me of laughter on frosty fall days.

May all of you know the love and support I have had in this past year without the turmoil that precipitated it.

And may 2015 represent a new F… Living Fierce.

Happy Thanksgiving