The upcoming advent season…

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On this first day of December after so much terror and so much foolishness over Black Friday merchandise I thought I would borrow a note from an angel   Tonight I want to tell you the story of an empty stocking.  … Continue reading

Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays debate

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~ SIGH~

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It’s the silly season and I bet, like me, all of you have have been inundated with negative sentiments on social media, in person, or in the mail.

People keep complaining about what religion is best, who is being excluded, and how what I’m feeling is either stupid, unrealistic, or just plain bad. I keep seeing how we are being brainwashed by religion, media, politicians, and the Internet for one reason or another.

It just seems so sad to me. The purpose of the holiday celebrations during winter is to add some joy in the blackness of winter when this feeling is scarce. This is true regardless of which religion you adhere to. In fact, you will find that there was a celebration (some of them solemn and some of them anything but) in just about every religion during this time of the year.

Yet, this reason seems to have gotten lost in the glitz and glamour of gift giving and the battles over what the season is supposed to mean.

Christianity has been under attack by those who want to eliminate religion from the festive events of the holidays, saying that we shouldn’t exclude anyone. This is kind of ironic considering that one of the largest religious sects on this planet today is still Christianity and currently the major holiday festivities are surrounding Christmas.

This is a holiday for Christians. It is the right of every Christian to celebrate and I do not want to remove any of the warmth or sentiment from the practice by quarreling over “who” has the right to celebrate it.

It never ceases to amuse me that all the best Christmas carols and cartoons were not written by Christians. For some reason other religions all want to participate in at least some of the practices and events of Christmas.

This doesn’t mean that Christianity is the only acceptable religion or that Jesus was actually born on December 25. We have figured out from the stories told and history that he was more likely born in April and that it was a clever pope who selected the winter solstice celebrated by Pagans to celebrate the birth of Christ. Therefore, naming December 25 Christmas (the day to celebrate Christ’s birth) was very clever indeed.

Why was this clever? Because, in the bitter winter months we need something to look forward to; to celebrate rather than hibernate.

This pope never heard of the phrase seasonal affective disorder and he did not have statistics to prove that suicide and depression increase during this time of year. He just knew that, like Pagans, his “flock” needed something to celebrate and why not let it be the birth of the key figure in his religion. CLEVER.

So Christmastime was born and while Christians have not cornered the market on this time of year –there is Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Year’s Eve and Winter Solstice celebrations– Christmas sets the tone.

So give it credit and do not hold it against Christians that we celebrate Christmas during this time of year.

Instead of trying to remove Christ (or religion) from the celebrations, why not ask yourself why it is that this is one of the most beloved holidays for Christians and non-Christians alike.

Why?

It fills a need.

The need to be part of something more than ourselves; and

It gives us a reason.

It is the reason to be kind and generous to our fellow neighbors, friends and family without having to justify it.

It gives us a legal holiday to enjoy peace and take some much needed down time to get a little silly and laugh at ourselves for a couple of days each year.

Why would anyone be against this?

It revitalizes the soul. So even if you are non-religious, agnostic, or a full-blown atheist ask yourself what is the best gift you can give your fellow neighbors during one of the bleakest times of the year?

Do we really need more “things”? or is it something as simple as a warm smile, a friendly hand, and the kindness that comes from simply giving your acceptance of who we are and that we matter. All this can be summed up in my gift to you.

My gift to all of you this Christmas is a wish:

I wish you understanding, non-judgment, kindness and love. I wish you forgiveness. I wish you a peace that fills your soul and lets you believe in miracles once more.

I wish this to all of you, whether you believe in Christ or not.

Every time you hear Merry Christmas you are hearing my wish for you.

And for those who care to give one to me, you can wrap it in any moniker you wish: Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Feliz Noel, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Hanukkah, or simply ~ Peace.

I will be touched by the sentiment in each sincere wish, for I know that you understand the true meaning of the season.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

Mom. This one is for you with love

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I always thought I had no heroes in life. No one I truly wanted to emulate ; never feeling I fit a pattern. But! I was wrong.

Heroes take many forms. I was reminded of that this evening when I came home to the end of Mama Mia and caught the song “slipping through my fingers” that song always makes me cry.

For those who don’t know the song it’s about a mother watching her daughter grow up and away from her. I don’t have children; it reminds me of my mom.

While it does bring back good memories for me, my tears are now for my mom. She is slipping through my fingers all the time.

I watch her on ordinary days, this woman who fought for me, protected me, endured my terrible teens and I know our time is growing shorter.

I see it. She is slipping through my fingers with time. We keep on growing older, we keep on smiling and fighting and laughing. But, there’s that hollow note that says one day she will be gone. This precious women, this hero of mine.

No it’s not for money she made or didn’t; things she bought me; or career glories. None of that matters. I don’t care if she is remembered in an history book. She is my hero for the light she has brought into my soul and for the privilege I have to say I have known such a outstanding spirit.

For you mom….

Happy Mother’s Day

Slipping Through My Fingers”

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I’m losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I’m glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what’s in her mind
Each time I think I’m close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake I let precious time go by
Then when she’s gone, there’s that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can’t deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
Well, some of that we did, but most we didn’t
And why, I just don’t know

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what’s in her mind
Each time I think I’m close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile

This one needs a title….

Suggestions welcomed….

When I was young, I fell in love on a star.

I chased my love through the Milky Way.

We played our game throughout the cosmos, shining our own light.

Writing our own story in the dark.

Laughter skipped across the planets raining music upon their atmosphere.

My love and I danced on Venus, colored Mars red

I am old now, too old to dance across the Milky Way.

Too old to hear the music play. My love has gone away, but waits amongst the stars and watches.

Watches my light grow tired and sheds tears of hope down on me. Until the day the darkness comes and I am free again to play amongst the stars.

Learning curve

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What has this ordeal with my sister taught me?

Well it’s brought up a lot of old wounds. I realize I can never truly walk away from the past. It’s always with me. I have come to terms with my father’s alcohol and abuse. I built a wall around me to protect myself from it. I never wanted to end up with someone like dad, yet that’s my greatest fear.

To be drawn inexplicably to his personality. The charismatic charmer on the outside that masks a raging demon within. It’s what I know. It’s what I stay away from.

Maybe that’s why Dee’s illness feels like such a sucker punch. I wasn’t expecting it.

Now I sit here and I understand me. I can’t ever be with an alcoholic. No matter what I may feel for him. To choose to live that life would destroy me.

I’m not condemning the multitudes who are seeking help and staying sober. I’m proud for them, really.

But whether you see it as a flaw in my character or a strength in my resolve, I understand my limits.

I can’t choose my family. They are my blood and I endure, but I won’t court a love with an addict. To let them into my private world and watch as it crumbles…there would be nothing left of me.

How I wish I were free…to find my own balance without the weights that bind me here. It would be nice to live in Germany for two years. To walk on the shores of Bremen, really explore my heritage. But circumstance won’t allow for it. My timing is off. I need to balance me before I take another into my soul. When I’m ready, he will appear and he will be a good man, a sober man, with a wicked sense of humor. And I will be glad at the person I am by knowing him.

A Note On Valentine’s Day

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It’s Valentine’s Day season. You know the made up holiday to give us diabetes and make every single girl feel inferior if they aren’t being wooed and pursued every February 14th.

In recent generations, men have felt the pressure to be romantic on this day and then stow romance away for another year. Really? One day because the candy companies say you have to? Boys, that so wrong!

I have never been one for forced sentiment days. If a man wants to be with me, I expect that he will show me this on a regular basis, not just one day a year.

I do like lavishing attention on friends, family and lovers, but the time and place is at my discretion. Likewise, if my boyfriend pays attention to me the other 364 days of the year, Valentine’s day means nothing, but an excuse for sex. And, I’ve never needed an excuse, so this day has never been a pull-out-all-the-stops type of day for me. I have romance when I want it, sex when I want it, and alone time when I don’t. I pamper my lover on Valentine’s if I have one and myself if I don’t…actually I pamper myself whether or not I am in a relationship, he just gets to enjoy the attention too.

I remember friends and family on this day as well, because love comes in many different forms and everyone likes to know that they are loved.

Also, if a man hasn’t paid the right kind of attention to me, he probably won’t last to Valentine’s day and that’s fine with me. I never want to be tied to an emotional albatross. I’m much too good for that–no conceit here, I just won’t settle.

Some say this is why I never married, my standards are too high. But, really is that true? I don’t date and toss men away for superficial reasons. When a relationship ends I know I have given it my all and have closure. What more can you ask of me?

So what do I expect on this ooey-gooey holiday? Love. Warmth. Fun.

Wether your a romantic partner or friend/family, remember me on this day with hugs and kisses. Laugh with me, cry with me, act silly with me.

Make me smile. Make me glad you are in my life. And I will do the same for you in return.

Happy Valentine’s Day.